Well, I suppose it has been a while. For those of you who are wondering, "has he stuck with it?", the answer is YES! I have had my ups and downs, I've missed some workouts here and there, but by and large I have stuck to it. I should actually be on day 45 right now, however I was sick last week and missed almost the entire week. So I'm given myself and extra week to catch up.
I haven't taken pictures in a while. The reason is that I'm building some anticipation for the big day 45. I have not been blogging about my workouts as I did in the beginning because I'm finding it very difficult to even fit the workouts into my daily schedule. I have to admit, sticking with this program is more difficult than simply completing the workouts every day. If you are a person like me - "all or nothing", it is a real emotional roller-coaster. Perhaps it's because I have such high expectations for myself, and for the program as a whole.
I find myself looking in the mirror a lot, hoping to see results. This is pretty much a daily thing. I know that my body is going through a transformation, but it seems very slow-going. I have days when I feel fat, days when I feel skinny. I have days when I feel ripped and days when I feel soft and flabby. I have days when I think I look slim, and days when I think I look bloated.
It has been extremely emotional trying to eat right. If anybody had ever tried to tell me before I started this workout that my eating habits where emotional, I would have told them that they were off base, that I simply didn't care what I ate, when I ate, or how much I ate. I now realize that food for me is totally emotional. Though I am not obese, I have many symptoms of the disease. I try to eat right, when I overeat or eat crappy food I immediately feel an overwhelming cloud of guilt and regret. At that moment I want to give up and no even try any more. Even when I'm eating healthy there is the constant worry, "am I getting enough of what I need in my diet to get the results I want?', or have I eaten more fat or carbs than I should have today?", or "have I eaten too much, or too little, to often or not often enough?" etc.
This is another major reason why I haven't added a blog post in a while. I worry that I'm not getting the results I want because I'm doing something terribly wrong. Bottom line however, is that I've stuck with it. I'm not as big or strong as I would like to be at this point, but I'm a lot better off that I was 6 weeks ago. Any words of advice or encouragement would be appreciated. I look forward to being on the other end of this, at the end of the program and just being glad that I finished it. I know that I'll be able to help anybody else who wants to work through this program. In the meantime, I'm going to Bring It!
